i'm feeling quite today!
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Wednesday, February 28, 2001

Know what's so annoying? I have an *exact* idea of what I want to do for a layout for my website, but I lack all (and any) HTML skills with which to make it ;_; *bites into the beatiful designs at Val's site and latches on* Then again, if I bought a domain, I suppose I'd be more serious and dedicated to making a somewhat decent site. One day...one day!!! Mwahaha!!! ....Sorry, I just *had* to do the obligatory bad guy laugh. Well, anyway...it's coming along. Very sllllloooow, but it'll be ready. Someday. ^__^

Ugh. I just heard my next-door neighbor's...."good luck" today. Barf. Riggghhht...so her name's Jessica, and we've lived next to eachother since 4th grade, but we hardly talk anymore. She's only in one of my classes (Latin, of all things- then again, that class *isn't* leveled...) because she's, well...not too bright, to put it bluntly. Unfortunatley, she's a "ditz" too; she loves teenybopper music, and she has to be part of all the "fads". We used to be friends when we were little, when she wasn't quite so totally focused on being popular. (i.e. her entire goal in life). Don't get me wrong...she's a nice enough person, I guess. Although she makes sure to tell me if she doesn't think anything I wear/say doesn't meet her approval >_< Anyway, I'm digressing. So her parents are rich too...suprise, suprise. And guess what "princess" gets on her sweet 16? A brand new car. Oh wow. I can feel the excitement. There is just NO reason for her to have a car what-so-ever. She doesn't have a job (mommy and daddy give her money and everything she wants of course), her parents already *have* 3 cars (I guess that just wasn't enough. *eyeroll*) and she can't even freaking drive!! >_< And I also see *no* reason for a teenager (and one as irresponsible as her) to have a car. At all. I don't think *anyone* needs a car until they're in college. There are exceptions of course, which I can understand. But it just makes me sick to my stomach. This girl gets everything she wants handed to her on a silver platter, and she just takes it for granted. My sister didn't get a car (a used one too) until she was 21- and she had to pay for everything! Am I missing something here? A ungrateful little 16-year old brat gets a brand new car when she's **16**, but my college-paying and job-working sister didn't get one until she was 21!?! What is *wrong* with the world these days *anyway*?! I just don't get it. Our society is really messed up. Or maybe it's just the people that live in it.

Something good actually happened today, but I'm too frustrated and mad at myself to talk about it. I hate myself right now.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:09 PM

Tuesday, February 27, 2001

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. How could I? Hehehehehe ^_^ For random fun (and it's *high* on the fun factor) check this out. "All your base are belong to us", and it's about time you learned that. Definatley a good waste of time. Don't ask how I came about it. I just did. Just goes to show what happens when foreign translations go awry and people decide to do something about it. "Make your time" and go watch it. I have no base. Really.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 3:11 PM

I don't know why, but Blogger hasn't let me update for the last fews days. *blinks* No use crying over spilled milk I guess. Since I couldn't post it on Sunday, here's the song of the week. Dum dum...(listening to "My Heart Beats Like a Drum" by ATC ^_^) *scrambles around for her list* Ok! This week it's "Dust In The Wind" by Kansas. I heard it on the radio and ran to download it :D It's soooo pretty...makes me want to learn how to play the guitar. Yeah, it's an oldie, and even *I* don't really like oldies, but it's very spiffy. Here are the lyrics (they're soooo pretty too ^^;;):

I close my eyes
Only for a moment, then the momen't gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind

Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do
Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind, ohh

Now, don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind

Dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
The wind


Have fun, and don't touch the glass ;D

           the scent of roses appeared @ 3:02 PM

Saturday, February 24, 2001

I havn't been writing because nothing's been happening. Good excuse, right? No...no one's ever happy. Well, anyway...

I drove today! :B I feel like such a big girl...NOT. *lol* Just around the neighborhood, but I didn't take out any small children or stray pets. And those are the hundred-point ones too. Shucks. ;D My dad and I went out to get pizza tonight, and he was making fun of the kid who was serving us (he had green hair). I told him to stop, and that it was really shallow of him to judge someone because of their apperance. He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said that he didn't think it was right- that it wasn't "normal", which is why he thought it was weird. That got me mad. Don't get me wrong....I love my dad to pieces. But he can be quite closeminded at times (you can tell this was about more than green hair, right?) The rest of the conversation went something like this:

Me: What's wrong with not being "normal"? Maybe he's just trying to express himself. We all don't have to follow society's rules and regulations.
Dad: But isn't there a better way of doing it? He didn't create the greatest impression on me.
Me: Well, maybe he *doesn't* want to create "the greatest impression". Who knows? He's just trying to be himself. "You can't judge a book by it's cover".
Dad: I'm not saying he's a bad person. I just thought his hair was weird, that's all.
Me: *laugh* It's ok dad...we're all entitled to our opinions. As long as you're not discriminiting, I guess I don't have a problem.
Dad: Yeah, yeah...green *shakes head*

Heh ^^; oooops, gots to run. Saturday Night Live!!! ^__^

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:53 PM

Wednesday, February 21, 2001

ano...no recent updates, eh? Yeah, I've been feeling so icky and sick in the last 48 hours X_x (yes, this *always* happens to me on vacation. Grrrrrr >_<) Sleeping has been a nightmare...I keep having these *seriously* messed-up fever dreams. For example, last night the only thing I dreamt about was Moogles. Yes, MOOGLES. (Running around in little tunnels! They're everywhere!!! AHHH!!!) They're haunting my head...make it stop!! *cries* It's an FFIX overlapse, I can feel it. See what happens when you substitute all rest and sleep for a video game, kids? *nods* That's right- Caitlyn gets a little scary. Time to put the caution tape up. ^__^ Man, do I feel trippy. I think I'd better go lay down...

           the scent of roses appeared @ 5:35 PM

Monday, February 19, 2001

Must...play...FFIX...so...addicting... X_x

           the scent of roses appeared @ 8:59 PM

Ok, time for a new song of the week! Following my Two-Mix kick, it's "True Navigation"!! XD This song has a great beat (as do all Two-Mix songs) but Minami's voice just sounds so cool and synthesized, I had to choose it ^_^ I love the meoldy- it's just so pretty too. " " I think it sounds good in English or Japanese, but just a liiiiitle better (or a lot) when she's singing in the language she's familiar with ^_~ I'm also talking about the version on BPM Cube, which is "True Navigation (type 2)" on Napster, for those who want to get it. I would have picked "Naked Dance", but, well...I've been obsessed with that song long enough. It's time I move on ^^;

Hey! No school tomorrow...it's really the simple things in life that make me happy :D More time to sleep and dream (I always have a dream when I get to sleep in- *lol*) and slack off. Oh so wonderful. Vacation, I love you.

*holds up a straight jacket* Ok, anyone want to restrain me? Any time now! Damn... ^__^

           the scent of roses appeared @ 1:40 AM

Saturday, February 17, 2001

I was just reading Julie's journal from the Real World. She's such an inspiration. And she's done so many things, and been so many places, my life seems like nothing in comparison to hers. Then again, I'm just a high school sophmore in a run-down public school :p I guess I shouldn't be passing myself off like that though. There are countless people in the same sitation as me, and they've made so much out of their lives. Maybe I should freshen up my life, do something a little different. I think I'll go take a walk.

The snow's almost melted.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 6:27 PM

Friday, February 16, 2001

listening to my Two-Mix Cd...man this rocks :D I can't believe that some people havn't even *heard* of them *cries* Anyway, here's my little review of BPM (Beats Per Minute for you non-obsessed Two-Mix fans :p ) Cube, probably their most popular Cd. There's two Cd's; International (10 songs in English) and Domestic (13 in Japanese). I was expecting the Gundam Wing original versions of "Just Comminication" and "Rhythm Emotion" on the Domestic Cd, but (oddly enough) they had the same remix they did for the English ones, just in Japanese. Not to say they're not good, 'cause they are. I guess the original versions must be on another Cd...maybe Super Best Files. So...some of the English songs I actually like better than the Japanese ones (*gasp* lol...) like "Stayin' Alive" and "Meeting On The Planet". Buuut...I prefer most of the Japanese ones, especially "Naked Dance" (that song ROCKS) "Truth" and obviously the rest of them ^_^ "BPM", "De Show", and "Stance of Resistance" were the songs not included/translated into English and put on that Cd. *shrug* Doesn't make that big a difference to me. A lot of the songs I heard on the Cd's were different than I ones I downloaded off Napster...I think they make new mixes of old songs and include them on various Cd's, although I'm not sure if the ones on BPM are the originals, or the mixes...I think original though ^^; Baroque Best, Rhythm Formula, and Vision Formula must have the different mixes...I'll have to look and see. In the meantime, I'll be veeeery happy with what I've got >:D

I can't believe it. Vacation is here. Finally. *collapses* I don't know how much longer I would have been able to take the lack of sleep X_x You know...I'm not sure who I was talking to it about today (Becky I think) but I have a question. Can people die from insomnia? We talked about it, and I think the answer is yes. I mean...think about it. If you never sleep, then you can't repair any damages or sicknesses in your body, which you normally do while you sleep. So if you can't ever repair your body, then get weaker and weaker, making you more seceptible to infection and disease. If you contract a disease? Bam. Goodbye, birdy. That's a scary thought...and Becky's an insomniac too ^^; She wasn't too happy to hear that. She even went jogging last night (when it was about 20 degrees out too) because she couldn' t sleep. Go Becky. *lol*

Maggie's having her birthday party tonight...let's hope I can stay awake to enjoy it. Heheheh...I need to get her a present. I'm making her a card now. It's Coke-themed, of course. I can never tell which she loves more...Coke or X-Files. She's got stuff from both plastered *all* around her room...I suprised she has room for her drums in there ;D Ohhh...I wanna go play those tonight. Too bad I *can't* play. And Squid...he's in Hawaii!!! That little dork. He said he didn't want to go. Him and Adam. What is WRONG with them!?! I would give *anything* to go on a nice vacation like that. But's he's promised to bring us back Cabanna boys...if the Hula girls don't take up too much room...*rofl*

           the scent of roses appeared @ 5:19 PM

Thursday, February 15, 2001

This whole Napster issue is really starting to bug me. I started using Napster starting around early December I think, and it's been great for getting all the songs I want. Before, I'd have to search all over the web just to find a single song. Although that was more true for American songs than for J-Pop/anime ones...they're much easier to find ^_^ Anyway, I know that lots of people have been using it much longer than I have, and are just as mad. My single and biggest gripe is that if Napster started out free, it should remain free. That doesn't mean that once it gets popular, it should start charging it's members for its services, which is probably going to happen now that the records companies have Napster in a chokehold. Oh yeah, that brings me to another point. If anyone *doesn't* need money, it's those retarded music companies and especially the artists. They have more money than they'll know what to do with in a life time, yet they're still not content. They have to take this away from us, because...they don't have enough money? Please. That's the biggest load of crap I've heard yet. I'm sure those corporate bastards are laughing their heads off at being able to make so many music fans utterly miserable -_- It's sad, really, that some people aren't happy until they get everything they want and leave the rest of us high and dry. If Napster's going to charge for services, I certainly won't pay. If worst comes to worst, I'll just go back to my old ways of downloading and finding songs. It may be a pain in the ass, but I'd rather do that than watch those greedy idiots suck up my money. I know that Napster would probably remain free (because no one would use it otherwise) if the music labels weren't pushing the issue so much. *sigh* Now everyone's gone into this massive downloading frenzy, and I can't help but feel that this whole situation is ridiculous. I guess "only time will tell"...

           the scent of roses appeared @ 1:31 PM

Tuesday, February 13, 2001

I really don't get what the big deal about Valentine's day is. Yeah, so I don't have "someone to spend every waking moment with". *eyeroll* That doesn't mean I'm going to go around whining and complaining because I don't. I'm rather glad I don't actually. It's like you have to pretend you love that person even more (for some odd reason) on Valentine's day. I think that if I did have a boyfriend, he would know that I love him, and I wouldn't need to pretend like I love him even more, just to buy into this stupid commercial holiday. "But Valentine's day is the day you're supposed to EXPRESS your love, you loser!!!" Like I said before, it's reiterating the fact that you already love them, so it's kind of pointless to me. You know, there are two people I see when I think of Valentine's day. Those who don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/whatever and say that they don't care about Valentine's day. Then they go around and complain to everyone how much they wish they had a gf/bf/spouse like a pathetic excuse for a supposed "strong person who can get by without someone else." -_- Grow a spine people. Then there are the people who are totally obsessed with the entire idea of the holiday, and go around catering to every whim of their love/slave and act like they can't get enough of one another. *gag* Don't get me wrong...I don't see a problem with expressing your love, but this whole holiday just makes everyone go waaaaaaay overboard in my opinion. So great, buy into the trend and waste your money on pointless "objects of affection" to show that you "care a lot". I also have more important things to worry about ("I hope my crush notices me/gives me a valentine/makes a life-size milk chocolate statue in his likeness to give to me!!!!" *insert ditzy giggle here* I'm. Going. To. Puke.) like if I'm going to pass my tests tommorow. Hmmm...pass tests? Or make insignifigant little pieces of paper with sappy poems on them? Gee, tough choice there...I could take or leave this holiday, but I'd much rather leave it.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 3:45 PM

Sunday, February 11, 2001

So...what'd I do today? Sat around. Went online. Walked the dog...do you really need to know this? I know everyone's SO interested in my less-than-spectacular life. Narf.

I'm changing the song of the day to the song of the week. Bet you didn't see that one coming, did you? I don't work well on weekdays, weekends are better for me to think something up. And I don't want to have to worry about finding something new everyday. So that makes "Slow Motion" this week's winner (starting on Monday).

Gack. I didn't have to go to tutoring (for math. me + math = suck, suck, suck) but I do have to go tomorrow. After rehersals. Which I reallllly don't think is worth my time now, but I'll go and shut up about it already. "Maria" tried to act all nice and hug me, saying "Wow! You got in too?! That's great!!!" Yeah. Like I *want* to be a drunk. I hate fake people. The funny thing is, that I used to be friends with her. Now she's become "best friends" with Elena (who's also one of my best friends- talk about weird as hell) and Maggie B., so they're practically this "insperable trio" now. Do I sound bitter? 'Cause I sure as hell feel that way. Elena tries to include me, and I have to thank her for that, but it's not the same anymore. "Maria" is really weird now- everytime I ask her a question, or try to tell her something, she either acts like my question is something a third-grader would ask, ("What? Yeah, it's *insert random answer here* Didn't you already know that?") or she acts like what I've told her is the most useless piece of information she's heard that day ("Uh huh. Yeah, I already heard about that awile ago."). So with my failed attempts at trying to be nice to her, I've just given up. It's not worth it anymore, honestly. Maggie B's ok, but we've never really gotten a chance to talk.

I havn't done any homework, and I think I have a Bio test tommorow. And my English paper's due. And I had math hm...and. Life just sucks, you know? Treyz can most definatley back me up on that one. Speaking of which...*waves to the gang* I'm loser 'cause I never come on messenger anymore, I know. Vacation, I promise. Hopefully, we'll have a semi-sane Caitlyn by then :)

           the scent of roses appeared @ 9:16 PM

yuck, I have tutoring in a little while. I have the Sunday blah blah blahs...listening to "Touch My Heart" and singing along. I wonder if there's a karaoke version?...anyway, I went to a concert with my parents last night (they conned me into going, I swear! Besides, Christine was there, so it wasn't all that bad. We got to make snide and sarcastic comments at our parents when we went out to dinner, that was pretty good. You know, she's a year younger than me, I might still be able to "change her way of thinking" to my own logic >:D *rofl* j/k...) Then I saw my orchestra teacher there, so I had to practically dive for cover. Definatley didn't want to talk to her. Moving on...only one more week!!!!!!! Just *one* until vacation...then I get the sleep I want! Sugoi!! :D *giggle* I think I had a little too much sugar for breakfast. I'm boucing off the walls, can you tell? :B

           the scent of roses appeared @ 12:45 PM

ok, it's 1-something in the morning, but I'm still up doing nothing. Actually, I just played a little FFIX after watching MAD t.v., but I didn't feel like getting much into the game and all. You know...I'm starting to scare myself. I'll be at school, and I'll just suddenly zone out for minutes at a time. I can't even explain it, other than my everday routine is starting to bore to being spaced out. Yeah...day after day, endless repetition. But I'm not one for change, so I can't go either way. Confused yet? Because I am.

My 12-hour cycle thing is gonna kick in, so I'd better get to bed. I feel like a zombie X_x

           the scent of roses appeared @ 1:18 AM

Saturday, February 10, 2001

Here's the song of the day, late as it is. "Slow Motion" by Third Eye Blind. I was shocked the first time I heard it, but it's a really good. Period. Slow, but with an excellent guitar and piano accompanyment. This is definatley *not* a song to be found singing in school, such as the case was with me. But the "sllooooow moooootion" part is so addicting to sing... And the lyrics. Don't read any further if you're easily offended. You've been warned. So here they be:

Slow Motion

Miss Jones taught me english
But I think I just shot her son
‘Cause he owed me money
With a bullet in the chest you can not run
Now he’s bleeding in a vacant lot
The one in the summer where we used to smoke pot
I guess I didn’t mean it
But man you shoulda seen it
His flesh explode
Slow motion see me let go
We tend to die young
Slow motion see me let go
What a brother knows
Slow motion see me let go
Now the cops will get me
But girl if you will let me
I’ll take your pants off
I got a little bit of blow we could both get off
Later bathing in the afterglow
Two lines of coke I cut with Drano
And her nose starts to bleed
A most beautiful ruby red
Slow motion see me let go
We’ll remember these days
Slow motion see me let go
Urban life decay
Slow motion see me let go
And at home my sister’s eating paint chips again
Maybe that’s why she’s insane
I shut the door to the moaning
And I shoot smack in my veins
Wouldn’t you?
See my neighbor’s beating his wife
Because he hates his life
There’s a knock to his fist as he swings
Oh man what a beautiful thing
And death slides close to me
Won’t grow old to be
A junkie wino creep
Hollywood glamorized my wrath
I’m a young urban psychopath
I incite murder for your entertainment
‘Cause I needed the money, what’s your excuse?
The joke’s on you
Slow motion see me let go
Oh yeah
Slow motion see me let go, oh
Slow motion see me let go, oh

Thanks go to Becky for the lyrics. Becky, you're awesome :D They almost didn't release this song, since it was going to be released right before the Columbine shooting happened. As you can imagine, they didn't release then. I don't know what the story is behind the song, but I know that the headliner, Stephan Jenkins, wrote it. As always, the song can be found on Napster, but get the "unedited" version- the other is just of him singing the chorus :p If you don't have Napster, I pity you. Although I can't see why people *wouldn't* have it...

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:24 PM

Survey time! I must fill it out! ^.^

1. what season were you born in? winter. also my favorite season. and yes Ian, "a world without snow is not a world for Caitlyn." ^_~

2. are you happy with your birthday? if you could pick any day to have been born, what day would it have been and why? no, I'm not really happy with my b-day. it's too close to Christmas. next to Brooke though, I shouldn't be complaining. maybe, February 6 'cause my calender says it's Waitangi day. whatever that is.

3. do you believe in past lives? can't say that I do. if I had a past life, I think I would remember some of it.

4. do you believe in guardian angels? let's see....no. the idea's nice, but I'm afraid angels are about as real as Santa Clause. (hope I didn't just crush all the hopes and dreams of any little kiddies out there. oops.)

5. what is your greatest talent? I have no talents. no, I guess if I had to choose a few things I would say that I kinda have a "way with animals" and I'm hoping to get into showing someday. (or be a vet- not like *that* will happen though) I really enjoy singing, and I like messing around with art stuff (drawing, drawing, and more drawing) and I play violin (I would hit myself over the head if I couldn't play well by now- I've been doing it 8 years) and some other weird misc. things, like being able to raise or lower my voice in a number of octaves. you should hear me when I'm annoyed/mad *rofl*

6. if you could wake up tomorrow having gained one talent, what would it be? gymnist! I would *love* to be able to do a one-handed back flip!! :D

7. if you had to be in the hospital for two weeks due to illness, who would you want to be your roommate during that time? umm, someone funny I guess, 'cause I get bored really easily. Hunter could make me laugh forever. Buuuut, I'd probably choose Brooke since she wouldn't mind me complaining all the time (she hears it so often) ^_~

8. if you could kill one person and get away with it, who would it be and why? (pretend that you wouldn't be breaking any moral laws... in other words, don't wimp out and say you wouldn't kill anyone, you know you would!) I don't really hate anyone enough that I'd want to *kill* them. I dislike Britney Spears, but I'd probably only send her off to live in Etheopia or some other mass-poor country where hair care products aren't avaliable.

9. if you could go back and live for two weeks in ANY time period and in any part of the world you wanted, when would it be and where? (going back wouldn't change history, you would merely be an observer) mideval times would be cool to visit, like in England or Scotland during then. Again, this would only be a visit, because I'd have no desire to contract the beubonic plague by the end of the week.

10. what do you believe the most useful invention of the 20th century was? (it has to be a single invention, can't be the *development* of anything or a series of inventions) the t.v.? I don't watch much now, but I think it was really big back then (obviously) I'd say the internet, but that kinda invloved a lot of other "inventions".

11. if you had to pick up and relocate to another country, never to return to your home country again, what country would you move to, and why? I dunno, I think the good ol' US of A is pretty good. Except for our incompetent leaders.

12. what book do you wish you had written? the Harry Potter series. Then *I'd* be the millionaire.

13. what is the one historical event you would change (as in, erase it completely from ever happening)? that's hard to decide. I think WWII though, because then the Holocaust would never have happened.

14. if you could own any famous painting and hang it in your house, which one would you pick? mm...I think "The Daughters of Edward Darley Boit" by John Singer Sargent (I saw it in an exibition). Everyone says the little girl sitting down looks like me when I was little :B

15. what moment in your life do you wish you could live over again? since nothing "big" has happened in my yet, I'll say that trip my family took to Disney World when I was 13. We had a lot of fun ^__^

16. what are your earliest memories? when I used to share a room with Nathan (grosssss) and those felt balloons were on the wall. (blue, red, and green). when my mom used to read to me, when Alysia lived at home (very few memories of, actually), Montessori, watching Nathan playing Nintendo, (we used to do everything together, but I'd always have to watch -_-) the old Comador, Lickey, and lots of stuff that makes me feel all warm and happy inside ^_^

17. if you could shave one year off of the lives of 20 people, and add those 20 years to your life, would you do it? would it matter if you knew who the people were? would your answer change if you were terminally ill in the situation? is this a math problem? because I'm bad in math.

18. have you ever truly hated someone? do you still? how did it affect you? no, hate's a very strong word, and I've never had a reason to hate anyone.

19. are you happy with your given name? it's nice I guess. not bad enough that I'd want to change it.

20. do you think it should be illegal for new parents to name their children truly horrible names? (we're talking REALLY bad names here.) I guess that's why we have the quiant little process of "legally changing one's name".

21. what is the one thing in your life that you regret NOT doing? I think I'm too young to answer this. I really haven't done much. ^^

22. how much money would it take to get you to give up the internet (e-mail, chatting, surfing--EVERYTHING) for one year? it's not worth any amount of money. I'm hopelessly addicted to the internet. it's my drug.

23. if you won the lottery, would you go back and give a nice chunk of money to the cashier that sold you the ticket? not unless they helped me pay for it.

24. if you could totally and completely give up sleep, would you do it? GOD no. if there's one thing I love more than anything else, it's sleep. you'd have to beat me over the head several times with a blunt object before I gave up even the prospect of sleep. *huggles her sleep*

25. if you were picked to be on survivor ii, what would be your luxury item? like I said before, I don't really watch t.v.

26. if you could totally and completely give up food, would you? heck ya. not only would I save mucho $$, but I'd never have to worry about weight again.

27. would you have chosen to be your gender if you had been given the choice? why or why not? no. I really like being a girl, since I can harass the guys and they can't harass me back >:D That, and I'm kind of used to being a girl by now.

28. if a perfect stranger was a perfect match for a kidney donation, and it would cause you a minimum amount of discomfort, would you do it? no. I don't intend to give up my organs until I'm dead, or unless one of my close friends/family desperatley needed it.

29. would you kill an innocent person to save the life of someone you loved? it depends on the situation, but i probably would. I'd probably never be the same again, but I guess I'd do what i had to.

30. when you die, will you donate your organs? if you are an organ donor, is there anything you would want them to leave in your body? yeah. I'll be dead, I could really care less what happens to my body. if it benefits someone else, then at least I will have accomplished something.

31. if you could bring back one tv show that has been either cancelled or discontinued, and have it be as good as it was when it was airing, what would you bring back? Rainbow Brite!!! or My Little Pony....or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...or Gargoyles...or...

32. in your opinion, how far should someone go to stop a person from driving drunk (if you believe they should be stopped at all)? swallow their keys and don't take the laxitive until they're sober.

33. what religion are you? if your religion had never existed, what religion would you be today? I'm Protestant, though I'm having isues with my religion. I have a hard time grasping the concept of "god" or even the idea that he even exists.

34. what is the worst crime you have ever committed? like I said, I haven't gone that far in life yet.

35. on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the best), how would you honestly rate your physical appearance? this depends on what kind of mood I'm in. I think I'm a 7. a little bit above average.

36. on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the best), how would you honestly rate your intelligence compared to other people your age? honestly? 8. I feel a lot smarter than most people my age. I guess both in common sense and book-smarts. I don't study my ass off for nothing.

37. do you believe it is wrong to marry only for money, if both partners agree to the situation? hey, if they're happy, let them do what they want. who am I to say who can and can't get married?

38. if money for education were no object and you had children of school age, would you send them to public school, private school, parochial school, boarding school in another country, or would you homeschool them? I'd probably do what I did, send them to a private school for a few years, then public school. I think I've got a lot out of both (eventhough public is a lot crappier).

39. should rapists be executed? no. I think the "eye for an eye" situation would apply here.

40. who honestly has it easier in life, women or men? I don't think either of them really has it easier. sometimes women do, sometimes men do, depending on where you live. in the united states, I would say women actually, since there are all kinds of sexism and affirmative action laws that favor women. you could not pay me to live in Afghanistan or India.

41. if you could add 10 years to your life by losing 25 iq points, or add 25 iq points if you subtracted 10 years from your life, which would you choose? I'll just stay as I am now, thanks. an IQ is just a number, anyway.

42. if you found your soulmate, and they were of a different race than you, (as in, something significant, like black/white, etc.) would you marry them anyway? yes. love doesn't discriminate.

43. if you found your soulmate, and they were of a different religion than you, would you marry them anyway? see above. it shouldn't matter if the two people love eachother.

44. have you ever seriously considered committing suicide? (as in, had a plan?) I wouldn't say "considered" more than "thought of the idea". I've often wondered what it would be like to be dead (i.e. what's after life?) but I havn't gone as far as to want to commit suicide. So no, not really. I'm actually pretty happy with my life, despite all my complaining. Besides, I'd be too chicken to do it.

45. if you could change one thing about your body, what would you change? (it can't be something that you already CAN change, like your weight.) damn, I was going to say weight. nothing then, I guess. I pretty much like myself.

46. what is the meanest thing you've ever done to someone? did you ever apologize for it? I'm not sure...maybe it was that time I suggested to give Bridget a Miller Lite can filled with cream soda and tell her it was beer at Brooke's party. it was kind of a group thing, but I told her I was sorry later, and she realized it was a joke. if that even counts.

47. what is your single most chatting pet peeve? rely badd speelin.

48. what was the situation in which you felt the loneliest you have ever felt in your life? when Brooke left to go to Norte Dame :*( I know everyone's gonna think I'm mean because I didn't say "when Alysia went off to college" but honestly....we're not that close. even now.

49. have you ever honestly had a true friend? (spouses don't count.) Brooke, silly! ^__^ She's my crazy, wacky, out of control friend that's just the best!! If only we could get a phone call though to eachother once in a while *lol* Umm...there's also Steph, Maggie, Anne, Elena, and Becky, the best friends I could ever ask for.

50. did you like this survey better or worse than you like the ones you've previously done? this survey made me think a little more than the ones with questions like "who is your crush?" and "who do you like better, bsb or nsync?" gag.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 4:13 PM

I just finished watching "Silence of The Lambs" on t.v. Very distubing. I have a feeling that they edited some things out (you could tell at the ikcy parts when they "conviently" went to commercials) but I'm kinda glad I didn't see the original version. I might not have been able to stomach it :p I ended up watching it because Maggie and I couldn't go see Hannibal, though I didn't really want to see it all that bad in the first place. Maggie the movie guru- you rock! ^_~ So she convinced me to see the prequel on t.v. tonight.

I think I'm gonna start a "song pick for the day" since I'm music-obsessed, and also because I have too much free time. Today's pick is..."Breeze" from the Slayers! (preferably the "windstorm re-mix" people ;D) It's got a nice medium-paced beat, a catchy tune, and Megumi Hayashibara, of course! ^__^ I was also shocked to find "Breeze" sung in English by....*gasp* none other than Valgaarv's seiyuu! I suppose it would make sense though, since Filia's seiyuu sings the ending ("Somewhere") in English too. Cute ^_^

           the scent of roses appeared @ 12:02 AM

Friday, February 09, 2001

Whohoo! I finally got my permit. I don't know why I put it off so long (my birthday was back in December) since the questions were insanely easy. Really- does it take a rocket scientict to realize what shape a yeild sign is? I dunno...I'm not all that excited about driving though. I mean, the way I see it, driving is just this big responsability that sometimes I'd rather not have. I could really care less about how I get from point A to point B. I have no desire to "cruise around just to impress my friends" either :p And with all the accidents I see happen on t.v., the people are lucky if they come out any better than a mangled corpse X_x It's scary, especially with all those crappy drivers rampaging around with a liscense that they probably shouldn't have gotten in the first place. Granted, I know that these people are pretty rare, but it still makes me want to just forget the whole thing altogether. And besides, I like having someone chauffeur me around all the time! :D Not to mention that I'm terrible with directions. I'd get lost in a heartbeat. Can't anyone else see how *bad* a driver I'd be!? ^^;; Although I've sworn I'm never gonna speed, not after what happened before with Nathan. *shudders* Police officers are scary, plain and simple. That's why it would be cool to live in Japan. They have neither the space or use for cars, since they all have access to public transportation. I guess that applies more to places like Tokyo, but I'm sure that they use trains and whatnot around the rest of the country. Which leads me to wonder, why are they one of the leading manufacturers of cars in the world then? I just don't get it.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:39 PM

Thursday, February 08, 2001

ummm...ok. The layout feels a little fourth-of-Julyish, but I don't feel like messing with it anymore. I'm just happy I didn't screw everything up ^_^;

           the scent of roses appeared @ 6:35 PM

I just leaned that my Two-Mix cd isn't coming yet because now I have to send the guy I bought it off ebay more money (a measly $2 too). Is life *ever* easy?

Ok, I'm fiddling with this HTML and hoping that the layout'll come out somewhat nifty-looking (by some miracle of fate). I still like the courier font for the title though...reminds me of Atari :D

           the scent of roses appeared @ 5:14 PM

Alright I am *not* happy about what happened with the musical. Yes, I'm aware that I'm only a sophmore and I wasn't expecting to be in any major roles (like the seniors and juniors got) but the ENSEMBLE!?! I'm so pissed off....*someone* (let's just call her Maria Santa Fe Halapeno-with-an-unusually-long-last-name for the sake of names here) just walked in yesterday, didn't come to *any* of the other auditions, and suddenly, has a better role than a lot of people who I think deserved it more. I'm not saying that I should get the part (even I *did* show up for all the rehersals) but I know some people like Ally who really wanted a good part, and by some weird twist of fate ended up in the chorus with the rest of us. And Ally's in Marshaliars too! If no one else, I feel bad for her. Grrr...I think I sing well. The dancing, I could be better at. But at least I *tried*! (and failed at, obviously ^^;) So "Maria" didn't have to sing in front of the rest of us on the stage (just like we all had to do at auditions) and didn't have to do a dance audition either. Honestly, is that fair? Now I know they're hurting for people, but isn't it only fair that *everyone* should have to go through the same audition process, REGARDLESS of how well she/he thinks they perform? I know a lot of people (including myself) that would've done a ton better if they didn't have to do the singing onstage. But Maria got off the hook. I just don't get it....oh well, I did sign up for crew too, so at least I'll be doing *something* worthwhile. Now I feel all pouty and useless, which I hate :p

In better news, I get my permit tomorrow! ^__^ I'm not worried about not passing, although my parents seem to think otherwise :p I guess they'll see that there was nothing to worry about when I'm rubbing my permit in their faces! "Tee hee!" as Nathan would say. You Selfie addict. *rofl*

           the scent of roses appeared @ 4:54 PM

Wednesday, February 07, 2001

yuck....insomnia strikes again. I never get to bed early (sleep!! *cries* I heart sleep...Brooke, you should be flattered ^_~) and so I'm always wiped the rest of the day. Suprise, suprise. We had Chinese food for dinner though- yummy! :B No play practice today either, so I ended up being stuck at school for God-only-knows how many hours -_- Good news? Only two days until Saturday, and I can figure what the hell I'm doing with this HTML...

We had another fire drill today in school too...and I got another excuse to talk to Mike! :) We tried to have a snowball fight, but the snow was too slushy. He's the best...to heck with what he said, he *does* look almost identical to his brother. But he's "the smarter one"...yeah, suuuuuure Mike. *lol* You know I luv ya...eventhough I'd never actually tell you that! ^^; *mumble stupid ketchup mumble* I'm never gonna hear the end of that...

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:21 PM

sweeeet I believe it's up and running, ne? The server was having issues yesterday, so I couldn't get this started :P Anywho, hopefully something interesting (or not) will happen so I'll have an excuse to blog later *grin*

           the scent of roses appeared @ 6:08 PM