i'm feeling quite today!
archives | caitlyn | current | blogger


Saturday, March 31, 2001

I've come to a conclusion. While most people (or from what those sleep specialists say) need only about 8 hours of sleep, I need 12. Yes, if I could, I would sleep away half the day. Unfortunatley, I have crap to do, people to avoid, and places to drag myself to XD Seriously though, I think that's why I'm so cranky and devoid of energy all the time. Not like school's helping any though >_< My family has this book too, called "In An Average Lifetime..." that says the average American spends 24 years sleeping. Me? I'll probably be wasting 50 of mine. lol.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 4:53 PM

Friday, March 30, 2001

It's raining buckets outside. I'm thinking, umbrella, big muck boots, and puddles :B I have waaaay too much fun sometimes. That's why I rock *lol* XD For someone like me who doesn't like getting dirty, playing in puddles is a lot of fun.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 3:24 PM

Thursday, March 29, 2001

Busy, busy, busy. Concerts, rehersals, and homework, oh my. X_x

           the scent of roses appeared @ 4:57 PM

Wednesday, March 28, 2001

I just had a little "talk" (more like interrogation) with my parents about religion. They were watching "Touched By An Angel" and I walked in, and made some comments about how I don't believe in angels, and that to me the show is unbelievable and unrealistic (purely because some people think the things that happen on the show are real *eyeroll*), harping on people's beliefs, and pure soap opera crap at it's finest. Christianity is a religion based on faith. I don't have the faith to believe in God. Why is this so hard to understand? I just don't believe in him, it's as simple as that. If I asked a group of adults if they believed in Santa Claus, I'm pretty sure most of them would say 'no'. If someone asked me if I believe in God, it's the same mentality for me- no. Angels, elves, and heaven are things people and religion made up to make themselves feel better. Heaven, for example, was created by christianity to make those who fear death feel better about death. I'm sorry, but once your dead, your dead. Even if during my life I believe that I'm going to float up into heaven when I die, it isn't going to make any difference once I'm dead. It also makes me mad when people say they feel sorry for me when I say I don't believe in God. Why should I feel sorry? Look, if I'm looking for pity or sympathy, I'll ask for it. I don't feel like I'm missing anything, or that I've lost something irrevocably precious and sacred, thank you. And no, I'm not any less human or caring or compassionate just because I don't believe in God. They kept asking me, "then what do you believe in?" Umm, that's a pretty broad question. Religion wise, I don't believe anything in the Bible, which includes God. I do believe in science, and nature, and things that have concrete evidence to prove that they exist. Religion does not have anything to prove that God or any other supreme being is real. Like I said, christianity is based on faith. I don't have it in me to believe and devote myself to something that can't even back itself up or prove that it's supreme being(s) exists. That, and because I just refuse to believe in imaginary things. That goes for ghosts, faeries, unicorns, supernatural beings, and all those non-religious based, made-up creatures too. The ideas of them are nice, but they're not real. I'd like to believe, but I just can't. That's why I like daydreaming- because you can imagine anything, and can almost believe they're real. This little blurb is screaming "write a rant!" at me ^^ I think I will sometime.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 10:52 PM

Monday, March 26, 2001

I really embarassed myself this afternoon in rehresal, but luckily only a few people saw ^^; It involved not wearing my glasses, but that's as much as I want to say. I do not like to wear my glasses all the time, they just bug me. So Elena and Colleen saw me say and point out something really stupid (because I didn't have my glasses on to see what "it" really was), which just makes me feel stupid even now. Stephanie, my partner in crime, thankfully wasn't there to see it. So she just chased down Elena and Colleen for the rest of the time to find out what I'd done with me trying to scream and jump on both of them to keep them from telling the whole world XP It was fun though...did I mention how very hott (we spell it with two 't's because we're uncool. look, I don't need your blasphemy. gah -_-) and cute Andy is? **uber drool** And he says 'misanthulcrum' so funny and cuuute ^__^ I'll stop now. I'd probably make myself puke by reading this too. And right now, my parents are watching "Bring It On". Hide me.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 9:54 PM

Sunday, March 25, 2001

Yum! We had rice and stir-fry for dinner tonight :9 Although I had to rush because I had tutoring tonight, but at least we got there on time. And I have a really easy day tomorrow, so I'm fairly content. ^.^

Wow. I had no idea the 'all your base' thing had gotten so big. Even the Onion makes a mention of our favorite insane parody. Just check the bottom. Gosh the Onion rocks my socks XD

           the scent of roses appeared @ 10:28 PM

Saturday, March 24, 2001

I was just listening to that song "Angel" by Shaggy. It's a nice enough song I guess, but I can't help but laugh hysterically every time I hear it. If a guy told me I was "closer than his peeps" in what's supposed to be a love song, he has got some major screws loose if he expects me to take that seriously. I wouldn't take it too kindly if he called me "shorty" either. Nice try, oh lyrically-impared one.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 2:26 PM

Friday, March 23, 2001

Yuck. I hate feeling so crappy. So why do I have to get sick all the time? ;_; I went to school today, but only because we had a test in math. So I came into school with a migrane and an upset stomach, and with all my luck, guess what we got to do in lab? Disect lamb eyeballs. X_x I feel really bad, but I made Elena disect practically the whole thing. So then I ran down to the nurse (the first time ever, actually) to get a Tylenol or Advil for my headache, and she said they were all out of everything. Call me stupid, but isn't the point of having a nurse in the school to actually have medicine? It's kind of pointless to have one if there isn't anything to help you when you're sick >_< I hope I feel better by tomorrow. I was really hoping to do a lot this weekend. *le sigh*

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:41 PM

Wednesday, March 21, 2001

Have I mentioned how very much I want this job my sister's offered me? $500 a week, my own apartment, and my own car. Could it get any better!? But I'd be living alone (which is good because I want to try living by myself, but I'd probably be really lonely the first couple of weeks), be staying there the entire summer, and I'd have to work 10-12 hours a day (except weekends) basically being a nanny. That, and I only have my permit, so I probably couldn't even drive the car ;_; Puuu...but oh, the money *drool* I'd be a very rich girl. I wouldn't expect any less though, because I'd be throwing away my entire summer to work non-stop. I'm a lazy girl- why must I work? 'Cause Caitlyn's a greedy girl, that's why ^__^ I might not even get hired though, because I might be too young. It's the car thing. I'm kind of torn on what to do...which is the same exact problem I'm having on making my schedule for school next year. What to take? Humanities? Marine Biology? I'm pretty sure I'm taking Latin again (the awesomely-cool kids in my class are taking it again too, so I couldn't let them down now, could I? We rock. XD ) and I'll be taking Orchestra, so that's it for electives. I have to turn my course schedule in by Friday, so I'd better get my butt in gear. Decisions, decisions. Me thinks I have problems making up my mind X_x

           the scent of roses appeared @ 3:15 PM

Monday, March 19, 2001

When I got home from rehersal today, I walked into my room and found newspaper all over my floor and a big sign on the door. Apparently, my mom went into my room (for reasons unknown), picked up a glass that was on my desk to help clean, and dropped it on my floor, getting glass everywhere -_- So she covered my floor in newspaper and left me to vacuum it up since she had to rush to work. (I guess it happened this morning, I still haven't got to talk to her about it.) The sign on my door had "CAUTION!!!!" written on it. I thought that was pretty funny. Leave it to mom ^_^

On a sadder note, winter ends tomorrow. Dammit, I'm sick of people saying "spring's finally here!" >_< Am I the only one who wants it to remain winter? I just don't want the snow to go away ;_; I really don't mind the cold weather that much. I guess you get used to it by living here. *sniffle* I'll have to make some snowballs and put them in the freezer. Then come summer time I have some handy secret weapons- or instant snow cones :D

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:28 PM

Sunday, March 18, 2001

Nyaha! I finally got the splash page of my sitie to work!! XD *dances* I'm so incredibly happy, and it's so ultimatley pathetic. Laugh with my now, won't you? Thanks. I'm waiting anxiously for my parents to come home and eat me out for being online all weekend so that they couldn't get through. You know...I'm thinking we need a third phone line. Yep, definatley ^.^ That, or have us get a cable modem. Then I could do everything twice as fast as I usually do *wink wink* I hope whatever college I end up going to has a fast connection, or I will smash their brains into tiny bits. Or big bits. Yeah, that would work too.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 8:03 PM

Saturday, March 17, 2001

We just got home a little while ago from the lock-in, and I just took a shower. I can't even remember the last time I was up this early on a Saturday. I don't know why I'm blogging either. *coughaddictioncough* Talk about stress...we had to call our parents and take Nathan to the emergency room because he hit his head on his knee in the bouncy house. He had to get four stitches right below his eyebrow, and he's got a very swollen and nasty looking eye now. *sigh* Then we went back, but they didn't have any games this year because the teacher that holds them wasn't there. Compared to last year, I didn't think it was that great, but there's always next year. But the seniors won't be there next year ;_; They rock so much...we're all going to miss them so much. Anyway, I've got to get some sleep. Staying up for more than 24 hours is more than enough to start messing you up. I think I have more respect for insomniacs now.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 7:32 AM

Friday, March 16, 2001

I suddenly felt inspired and changed the layout around. I took me awhile, but I think it looks pretty and I'm very proud of myself :B Ok, I reeeealy need to get some sleep (eventhough I did take a nap earlier ^^) so I won't be dead at the lock-in. Yes, we stay up all night. And party hardy. Booyaka.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 12:34 AM

Thursday, March 15, 2001

This hasn't been a very blogger-ish week (read: not much going on) so I'll make it short I guess. Uhhh....tomorrow is the lock-in though, which is sweeeeet. I'm going roller-blading later to "brush-up", since I couldn't with all the snow before. Wheee...roller-blading around the school is oh-so-fun :D We do all this really retardly-fun stuff too, like musical chairs, the bouncy house, and Disney Trivia. Sadly, my team won last year. And it's a victory to be remembered ^__^ Oh, and we had a Peer Leader meeting today, and it turns out that the theme for Grad Night Live (our school's big party-bash for the seniors) is going to be a medieval, King Arthur kinda thing. Funky, eh? I love all that fantasy-funess stuff. Oh, and for the musical, Elena, Colleen, and I are going to be bobby-sockers, which Peter said are basically "teeny-boppers". I not complaining though, because I thankfully didn't get chosen as one of the drunks. I feel bad for those people. I really do. But it's just too damn funny. I love watching them XD

           the scent of roses appeared @ 2:07 PM

Monday, March 12, 2001

w00t! New song pick time, since I was not here last night (tutoring and orchestra rehersal). Alright, I'm not sure what made me think of this song, but I'm glad I remembered it! ^_^ It's "Kiss From A Rose" by Seal, that song from the Batman movie way back when in '94. What I *do* remember about this song, is that my sister was obsessed with it when it came out, and couldn't get enough of it. That was the summer my mom, her, and me and Nathan went on a 3-day road trip to Minnesota to see my relatives. Papa Ginos, purple lighting, and sitting cramped in the backseat with Nathan are my most vivid memories. So the song would come on at *least* 6 times a day (per radio station) so by the time we got to Minnesota, I was ready to pull the freaking radio out of the car and throw it at one of those damn moose we kept going by. I think I can stand it now that I haven't heard for a few years. Anyway, I absolutley love the beginning of this song, for some reason it reminds me of a carousel. That, and any Shakespeare play you can think of. It's a very cool effect, simple as it is ^_^ Probably because it's a round...and rounds are purdy. I'll stop babbling so you can read the lyrics. SNOW!!! AHHH!!! XD

           the scent of roses appeared @ 8:12 PM

Thursday, March 08, 2001

I just got home a little while ago, and now I'm in my room, which is currently shaking. My brother and I are having an unannounced "who can play the music louder" contest. So he's got his techno on downstairs (his room is right below mine), and I've got my J-Pop blaring up here but it's mostly Two-Mix and Every Little Thing, because they rock at those hard-core techno beats XD *lol* Although if I *really* wanted to scare him, I'd play some Shinohara Tomoe. Gwahaha :B And Napster's going to close any day ;_; I'm having a hard time believing it though...they said they were going to close it ohh...about a month ago, and nothing's happened. *stares at the odd-like Napster people* You know, it's not nice to play with people's emotions....especially MINE! :\ Except when I *know* that we're just playing. Right, Trieze? *can hear him laughing at her now* Righhhhhtt. My sister might be coming with her new puppy today! *^_^* I'm going to snatch her up as soon as she runs in the door and give her lots of kisses. The DOG, you sickos! Barf. Anyway, Alysia'll be bringing Sean too, and we might go skiing (although I doubt it) if my parents dogsit. Like that'll happen. Gah, gots to run because I have tons and tons of work to do since I was absent for the only day we actually HAD class this week "Cry for the one"...which would be me ;_;

           the scent of roses appeared @ 3:36 PM

Wednesday, March 07, 2001

Not much to update on recently. I stayed home from school yesterday because I was sick, and today we had another snow day. *cheers* I may not like weathermen, but I love snow days...especially the snow part! XD Ok, I don't know where my brain was a couple posts ago, but the Walk For Hunger isn't until May. *slaps forehead* I didn't have to babysit the other day either! I don't think I could've taken watching the Pokemon movie (whichever one it *was*) again ;_; Physco kids. The younger kid likes wearing his mom's high heels, and his favorite food is German hotdogs (which are completely gross, if you ask me...and he always asks me to make them -_-) The older one is just...weird. For a little kid, he really creeps me out. He was playing this beisball game on their N64 one day, and when he started losing really bad, he went into this flying-mad-rampage, the ones I thought kids never *could* have. I practically had to pry him away from the console before he flung it across the room and broke the window. Shcary shtuff. Anywho...I'm really worried about what's going to happen with driver's ed. I signed up for the February class originally, but I had to switch to the April class because of the musical. Now I don't think I'm going to be able to take *that* class either, because the musical will *still* be going on. Do they have another class? ^^; I don't want to say anything to my parents because they'll get all mad at me...I *really* hope they didn't cash the check yet. *crosses fingers* Tra la la la la la...(beginning of "Boys and Girls"! ^_~)...I think I'd better go to bed, I actually have school tomorrow. *lol*

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:32 PM

Monday, March 05, 2001

Well, we didn't have school today. And I'm not quite sure why either. This morning started off with my Dad coming in my room and yelling at me to turn my radio off. I usually turn it up really loud so it'll wake me up, but I usually just sleep right through it ^^; So then I dragged myself out of bed and ambled over to the window to look out. Eventhough I was half asleep, it didn't look like there was a lot of snow on the ground, and it wasn't snowing either. So I continued on to the kitchen and turned on the t.v. to see cancelations, etc. Yup, school was closed. I took another look out the window. There couldn't have been more than 2 inches of snow on the ground. I just shrugged and went back to bed. Although it took me an hour to fall back asleep (I have a hard time going back to sleep once I'm woken up). Then I woke up around 11:00, and looked back out the window. Almost all the snow was gone, and it was raining now. *sigh* You know, I hate to say "I told you so", but,...well, I did. There are times to panic. And then there are *not* times to panic. If people would just calm down a minute, look at the situation, and use a little common sense, then they wouldn't be feeling so stupid right now. My dis-trust of weathermen has been reaffirmed once again.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 4:29 PM

Sunday, March 04, 2001

What the *heck* is everyone freaking out about? We're "supposed" to be having a big storm up here in the Northeast, and everyone is acting like a force 5 hurricane is coming. My parents went to the grocery store to shop like they always do on Sunday, and they said that the aisle with the bread was completly empty -_- I mean, call me a sceptic, but I'll believe there's a storm coming when I see it. Right now, it's not even freaking *snowing*. I can't believe people can get so paranoid. They've even closed schools in Boston. Wtf!? There is **no snow** on the ground people!! To me, weather men are about as useful/accurate as lawyers. No offense to those people who want to be/are lawyers or anything there, but with weathermen, you have to use reverse physcology. If they say it's going to snow a lot, trust me, it won't. If they say were not going to get much or any snow, expect a lot. Example? The April Fool's blizzard in '98. Those "genius" forecasters said we wouldn't have any snow. We got more than 4 feet of it. After that, I don't trust weathermen anymore. So you'll have to excuse me if you come up to me and tell me you want to be a weatherman, becasuse I will laugh in your face. Lawyers are ok, but I always think of The Simpsons episode when they show "a world without laywers" and everyone is holding hands, singing, and birds are flying around and all that fun stuff. Can't really take them seriously after that either. Although if I was in an accident, I definatley *wouldn't* be defending myself. So, they've (somewhat) got some respect from me.

Anywho...new song pick time. *gets more energetic* Allright! ^_^ It's "End Roll" by Ayumi Hamasaki this week. It was a really close choice between that and "Immature", but there are grasshoppers in End Roll :D *lol* Anyway, here are the lyrics (written by Ayumi too ^^):

End Roll

mou modorenai yo
donna ni natsukashiku omotte mo
ano koro tashika ni tanoshikatta kedo
sore ha ima ja nai

omoi dashite iru itsu mo fukiyou na
maku no hikikata wo shite kita koto

kimi ha doko ni iru no
kimi ha doko he itta no ka
tooi tabi ni demo deta n da ne
ichi ban taisetsu na hito to

moshimo watashi kara nani ka wo
kuchi ni shite ita no nara
owari ha miete ru hajimari nanka ja
nakatta hazu da ne

naite mo hoshigaru kodomo no you ni ha
narenakute seiippai no sayonara

soshite aruite iku
hitori aruite miru kara
kimi no inaku natta michi demo
hikari terashite ikeru you ni

hito ha kanashii mono
hito ha kanashii mono na no?
hito ha ureshii mono datte
sore demo omotte te ii yo ne

soshite aruite iku
kimi mo aruite ku n da ne
futari betsubetsu no michi demo
hikari terashite ikeru you ni

and here's the English translation:

I can't go back
no matter how dear I think it is.
That time was definitely fun, but
that was then and this is now.

I remember. The clumsy way
I pulled the curtains.

Where are you?
Where have you gone?
You've gone on a long trip
with the most important person.

If it started with
something I said,
we can see our end. It couldn't
be the beginning.

I can't become a child who wants something enough to cry
so with all my strength, goodbye.

And I go.
I'll walk alone and see for myself.
With light shining on the path
you've abandoned.

People are pitiful.
Are they really?
Can I think that they're
happy if I want to?

So I go.
You'll go too, won't you?
With light shining
on our two separate paths.

Ja >:D

           the scent of roses appeared @ 7:59 PM

Saturday, March 03, 2001

I don't feel like being online. Which is somewhat scary, because I absolutely love going online. I'm just not feeling chatty. Why do we chat anyways? I don't like small talk. It's so impersonal and pointless. I guess that's why (if you know me well) I'm very quiet and shy (or I just seem to be). I don't like talking a lot unless I have something good to say, although it's different with my friends. We talk about a lot of random stuff, but that's a-ok with me. Random is good; random is great; random is a word I love. Because radom is what I am- I change my moods and actions faster than you can blink an eye. Hey, that sounds like a good quote. *feels too lazy to write it down*

I swear, my family is technology-obsessed. We all have our own computers, stereo systems (with at least 5 speakers for each room they're in), we have a big screen t.v. (along with 3 other normal sized ones), a DVD player, some MP3 players, cell phones in all our cars (*and* radar detectors too), 3 entertainment systems (a Playsation & PS2 and a good ol' NES) and a whole bunch of other crap that's just floating around X_x Maybe that, or we're just too self-absorbed, indifferent towards eachother, and lacking in conversational skills to share anything between us. Hah.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 11:08 PM

Friday, March 02, 2001

Today went pretty well, I think I did ok on my history test. *let's out breath* Then I had tech after school- there weren't that many people to help though. Let's see...it was me, Elena, Ally, Dan, Mike, Melissa, Sumiko, Joy, Squid, and some new kid named Nick...we put him on the 20 foot ladder to do lights, since it was his first time and all. Nice people, aren't we? ^__^ It was fun though...we get to run around the stage and chase eachother with the electric saw. And if I hear the words "Damn Communists" from Dan's mouth again, he will recieve a *severe* beating. I think I've heard enough for the time being -_-

I think the Walk for Hunger is this weekend too...oh no ;_; I'm not in any shape to walk 20 miles in 8 hours, believe me- I feel all oogly because I haven't gone running for so many weeks. And I couldn't go out and rollerblade (or go running) because it snowed today. Oh well! ^_^ (you can tell I'm really dissapointed, right?) I know Elena will go...and so will Maggie. I'm not sure who else. We'll see.

           the scent of roses appeared @ 10:31 PM

Thursday, March 01, 2001

Huff, huff, huff...*just ran around her room about 20 times* I needed to let off some energy ^_^ I've been jumping up and down like a little kid since I got home. You wanna know wwwhhhyyy?? Well, I'll tell you anyway :D We...*finally* got our Playstation 2 today. Suki!!! (read: Caitlyn nonsense word) Man, this piece o' technology is great. Now my brother and I have our own DVD player too ^__^ I was just playing FFIX (third disk, allright!) and it looks sweet.

And I got a 90 on my math test today. I suck at math ^^ Could today get any better? Well, it would probably help if I had some games to play on that spiffy PSX2 ;_; No worries though...I plan on dragging Nathan to get some, even if I have to drive ;D Yeah!!

           the scent of roses appeared @ 10:39 PM